For nearly two years we have clearly been living in uncertain times. The time before was uncertain as well but we were able to hide that from ourselves more easily. We felt free to make plans, dream big, look forward to events that we felt certain would happen. Not so much now. Currently we live in a time where nothing feels certain. We craft plans and ideas only to see them collapse in a world that feels as if it is constantly changing. I can’t tell you how may times over the past 20 months I have formulated a plan only to see it fall away in the face of changing events.
What feels strange is the way in which this experience can simultaneously create anxiety, and peace and surrender, at the same time. On one hand it’s easy to feel anxious about the inability to plan or coordinate a plan of action. On the other hand learning to let go of all the things that we really have no control over can be a relief. Is this event a good thing? A bad thing? Maybe, maybe not. So much of our experience lies in how we choose to view it.
Over the past couple of weeks, riding another covid wave, trudging through snowstorms, and dodging atmospheric rivers, I felt that pull towards worrisome thinking. When I’m in the clinic though I am reminded of what really matters and what my life is all about. My mind eases up a bit and I let go, letting myself be carried down the unpredictable rapids of this crazy river of life we currently find ourselves in. In those moments, as I allow myself to be carried by the river instead of fighting its current, I realize that I’m no longer interested in returning to the old normal. Strangely I feel a sense of gratitude for the changes and challenges that have come my way.
All that is not to say that life has not been hard, is hard. Every day in the clinic I witness your stories of difficulty, isolation, and challenge, and my heart feels the struggle that we are all engaged in. In these moments though I feel so much gratitude, gratitude for the chance to offer a calm, quiet, healing space where we can come together to share in our struggles. A place to rest and recover. For all of you who have supported our mission these past 15 years, thank you for being apart of our vision of community solidarity, and healing.
Remember to find joy, meaning, and gratitude in the little moments of your days.