I’ve noticed over the past several months that I am challenged with my writing. I feel uncertain about how to respond to world events and the way I am processing life within myself. As part of my studies in counselling, I am reading a book on group therapy. The author, Irvin Yalom, is a key figure in the field of group therapy. Reading his introduction, I feel a kinship with him. Like me, he believes in the unique possibilities of growth and learning that can emerge within a community setting.
Perhaps now, more than ever, we need to create more ways to be together, to understand our inherent connectedness and the ways we can support one another.
At the start of one of Yalom’s groups, he has a practice of having participants write down privately something they would be most disinclined to share with the group – a deep personal secret truth. Over many years of practice, he has discovered a universality to these disclosures. The most common was a sense of basic inadequacy. The second most common was a sense of interpersonal alienation. Self worth, and the difficulty relating to others, were the two most commonly shared secret beliefs. How profound it is that these core wounds feel so personal and unique, and yet are held by so many.
During my own group practice at Hemma, I have also come to understand this common thread that exists between us all. As clients share their struggles with loss, pain, grief and healing, I see a common universality that unites us more than divides. Resting quietly next to one another, there is a chance to feel this connectedness, to share and witness one another’s pain and hardship, rest and recovery. Silently experiencing a kinship and connection within the safe harbour of community.
Obviously there are also vast differences, and unique experiences that each of us hold. These differences also need to be held with reverence and respect. Far too often though, we seem to forget all the aspects of life we share. From what I have seen and witnessed you are not alone in your struggles with pain, anxiety, loss, worry, and fear. These are experiences shared by all. As we come to recognize this sameness my hope is that we can feel less alone in our struggles, that we can come together to hold and be held by one another.